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, by Emily Nagoski
Download , by Emily Nagoski
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Product details
File Size: 6227 KB
Print Length: 416 pages
Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1 edition (March 3, 2015)
Publication Date: March 3, 2015
Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
Language: English
ASIN: B00LD1ORBI
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#5,528 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This book is gentle and supportive, and aimed at women who are dealing with emotional blockers in intimate/sexual relationships, and at their partners. (If you are confident and happy in your sexuality and looking for "new ideas", or dealing with complex medical issues, then you can probably skip this book.) Nagoski encourages a kind, mindful, nonjudgmental approach to exploring sex. Her writing is repetitive, but I feel that the repetition serves a purpose: she is targeting women who feel beaten down or lost, who need to hear over and over again that they are ok, they are not "broken," and they deserve to be happy and feel good. Nagoski introduces topics that range from casually interesting, to extremely vital to the health/safety of our society (ie. Arousal non concordance). I just wish there were more advice about practical action steps to change the things we want to change. Hopefully there will be a sequel.
Come As You Are is absolutely the best sex book I've ever read. I used to buy so many trying to figure out how desire and arousal worked and while I learned good things, this was the book that felt like a warm hug that explained everything and how I could make this work for me. What I did not expect was to learn so much about my brain, and how *exactly* that was connected to sex, and why feeling joyful and content in life in general applies to sex specifically. I'd heard that sex and life were intertwined; the whole "it's all connected" but it never made sense until reading Emily Nagoski detailing HOW and WHY.So all of Emily's blog posts come to life in this book, and every time I re-read chapters, I feel like the science connects in a deeper way. She covers attachment, sex that advances the plot in relationships, emotions, and mindfulness, just to name some topics. My favorite part of the book was learning about how the brain interprets goals and effort, and how you can use that to your emotional advantage to make life easier. (Also, this applies to road rage!)I'd also always read that imagination was a big part of creating a better sex life, and this is the first book to have really sparked my curiosity in a way that I'm intrigued about sex. (I've had painful sex and avoided it for years now, while still desperate to find out how to make things work for me.) The way I think about sex and the way I feel about sex have been transformed after reading Come As You Are. Instead of comparing myself to friends' stories about sex, lately, I'm actually interested and find myself musing on how things work for me to feel so confident and excited about sex. I've come a long way from feeling that I have SO far to go to enjoy sex, to feeling jealous and inadequate when friends talked about sex, and thinking that I'm obviously not the goddess they are because I don't have those stories. That transformation alone feels therapy-huge, to have come from such shame and fear and sadness to curiosity and intrigue.I'm pretty sure Emily is also the first sex educator I've noticed that used empathy to write little notes to the reader about their struggles. I cannot tell you how many times I've re-read those paragraphs on her blog and in this book, because it was exactly what I'd needed and never had anyone else say before. Emily GETS it. And I'm so thankful she realizes the power of what she's teaching, so this book could be possible. I really think every person alive could learn something and feel more at ease in their relationships and with sex, just from reading this book. Her blog is a refreshing on its own, but this book feels like a week at the spa. Thank you, Emily.
Come As You Are has been the greatest book on sexuality that I have ever picked up! I am a clinical counseling graduate student and have found a fascination in human sexuality. This book is AMAZING!! Not only does it fulfil my “student†needs in regards to being able to learn from a clinical perspective, but it also fulfils my womanly/wifely needs too! Arousal and desire and the science behind those have been in interest of mine within my educational background. But it is rare for me to gain insight for my own personal needs! I didn’t expect to enjoy this book on a personal level and will FOREVER encourage my counseling clients to read this book as well if they are struggling with their sex lives.Dr. Emily Nagoski is such a joy to read. Not only does she write using science and facts, but she gives such detail and simplistic terms that anyone can understand! Emily, a blog writer, covers so many great topics in this book that really detail the “Why’s†behind sexual arousal and desire. She covers many topics including emotions, mindfulness, attachment, and the science behind how the brain works! Her joyful writing style really makes this an easy read and is just so entertaining!On a personal level, I really transformed my own feelings towards sexuality. Instead of being so clinical about my own feelings and emotions, I’m becoming more interested in finding what I enjoy about sex. Obviously, my husband isn’t complaining either 😊Whether or not you have intimacy concerns or any type of sexual dysfunction, I truly believe that everyone can learn something about their own relationships and sexuality. This book is truly amazing and so enjoyable! I highly encourage you to read this one!
I want to hand this book out like Gospel tracts on street corners. Have you heard the good news? You're normal. Also, you're probably not built like a dude, so don't be surprised that your don't function like one. Take this. Read this. Make your partner read it. Leave it lying around so someone can steal it and find out they're okay too. I bought it in audio and in paper because I need them both. I'm on my third read. Seriously, read this book.
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